I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
