Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
