You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
