tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
