In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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