I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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