everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
