White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
