definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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