Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
