HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
