we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
