I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
