I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
