I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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