She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize