I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Randomize
