How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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