taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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