I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
