Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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