I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
