Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
