dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
