and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
