Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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