So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
