Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
