Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Never joke about your clitoris.
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