i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
