I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
