I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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