Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
