didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
