im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
