So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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