The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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