Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
