why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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