My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
