Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
