I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
