Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
