I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
