we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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