I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
