I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
