I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize