By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
