i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
