He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize