Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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