you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
