i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
