would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
