Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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