Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
