Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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