fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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