awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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