Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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