also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
