whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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