You're my little dorito
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
