First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
