Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize