So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
