You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
