He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
