You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
