You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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